just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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