Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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