I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
