Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
