Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
party gras won. party gras always wins.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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