i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize