would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
