Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
