I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Shame - the story of my life.
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