Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
