Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
