Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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