I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My dick has a subreddit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
