awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
