so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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