i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
