Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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