Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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