im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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