I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
