You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
