you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
