Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
