Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
