Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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