He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
they're like a gay fantastic four
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
