just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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