Pappa wants mamma naked
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
