3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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