she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I believe in your delicious
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
