I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
