she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
