mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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