So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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