Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
