So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Randomize
