I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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