Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
