Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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