the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
