yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
