thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
