guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Found your dick twin last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
