I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
