Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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