I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
