What did we do last night that was yellow?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We have started to decorate penises.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
