I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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