And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
