SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
