you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
