i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
