9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
