So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
