OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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