Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
