guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize