Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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