Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
