My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize