maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
