You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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